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Aug 24, 2018PimaLib_ChristineR rated this title 4.5 out of 5 stars
This book could easily have fallen into "my dad was an abusive git, please feel sorry for me." Yet it did not. There are several factors that saved this book. First of all is that Cumming is as charming and witty with the written word as he appears to be on the stage and screen. Besides his life story, he has fun little asides, like talking the Eurovision Song Contest with Antonio Banderas, or this insight from a character he played in drag: "For yes, being a woman, even one with a penis and for the purposes of drama, really made me feel that women have been coerced into a way of presenting themselves that is basically a form of bondage. Their shoes, their skirts, even their nails seem designed to stop them from being able to escape whilst at the same time drawing attention to their sexual and secondary sexual characteristics." Second is that the book feels like Cumming writing to himself: writing to try and understand his father, and the further he gets into the writing, the more clear it becomes that like so many things in life, there will be no answer. There is no explanation for or revelation about the meanings behind evil actions and Cumming comes to accept this. Finally, his appearance on "Who Do You Think You Are?" is described in heartbreaking detail and the outcome of his search has such profound meaning for his brother and mother as well as himself. Cumming is a master of stepping outside of himself to describe his actions and reactions, pulling the reader strongly into the emotional content while he himself is technical in his descriptions of pain, fear and shock. When speaking of his childhood he says, "Everything we liked or wanted or felt joy in had to be hidden or suppressed. I’m sad to say that this method works. If you don’t give as much credence or value to whatever it is that you love, it hurts less when it is inevitably taken from you." I generally do not read biography or autobiography, but I can recommend this without reservation and with a box of tissues. And the ending is as satisfying as anything dreamt of in the world of fiction.